Top 5 Liquors to Avoid on New Year’s Eve
Sunday, December 31st, 2006I don’t drink much these days. Well, that isn’t entirely true, I drink a lot of Diet Dr. Pepper, water and coffee but I don’t drink much alcohol anymore. I don’t think I’ve ever had a drinking problem but I used to drink more when I was younger and childless. I was at the grocery store watching shoppers stare at the cases of chilled beer and champagne then wander over to the hard liquor to squint and sigh at the possibilities. I met a young couple by the Boone’s Farm and other cheap wines and we all moaned about high school parties, puking and Strawberry Hill hangovers. They had an infant with them and were going to drink some White Zin tonight. I hate White Zinfandel but they seemed nice. Life is different when you have a baby (or three) and I tend to think more in terms of what I won’t drink versus what I will. Plus, hangovers with kids are indescribably miserable. So, I present you with a photographic journey of beverages I won’t be drinking tonight. I will be drinking some Champagne and sparkling cider at home with my kids and husband. Tomorrow, we’ll eat and pity those that weren’t so choosy in the liquor department. Have a good New Year’s Eve, hope you have someone to kiss.
Top 5 Liquors to Avoid this New Year’s Eve:
I hate black licorice, black jelly beans, fennel and jagermeister. I’ve eased up on my ban of this syrupy nastiness if it is dropped in red bull (sorry Dawn). Once, when I was 18, my friend and I visited someone she knew at Mizzou. We were there less than an hour when we finished a bottle of jager between four of us and then walked to Shakespeare’s pizza. Later, I had to vomit a lovely combo of pizza and black licorice satan juice in the men’s bathroom of an all male dorm. yuck. Years later, I occasionally took a test tube shot of the vile stuff from the jager girls at millstream but god knows why because I still hate the stuff. The jeckyl and hyde stuff, I’ve never tried but looks kind of interesting. I don’t know what kind of liquor it is.
cheap vodka in a plastic jug. mike has an interesting story about this particular brand of fermented potatoes. once, he was clipped by someone in traffic and spun into the median when he was working (presumably sober). he was knocked unconscious and woke up sometime later in the MRI tube at the hospital. he survived with a concussion and a few stitches where his teeth cut through his bottom lip. later, when he went to get his things out of his wrecked car at the impound lot, he saw an exact dental impression in blood on his window. there was a perfect outline of his incredibly tough teeth left there on the glass and not one was broken in his mouth. he left, went to the store and bought some popov’s vodka which he subsequently downed at home. the next day, he woke up with the remnants of a serious head injury, a terrible hangover and maybe some alcohol poisoning which made him throw up for two days. he can’t explain why he thought drinking a bottle of vodka would make him feel better after wrecking his car and almost dying but i think the next morning he would have preferred death to that headache. needless to say, he doesn’t drink much now (with the exception of captain morgan’s spiced rum and root beer. yeah, he starts his drink orders everywhere we go with “do you have rootbeer?”).
boones. hahahahahaha. i wonder how many teenagers have gotten pregnant because of strawberry hill. god this stuff is nasty. i woulda photographed the MD 20/20 but the grocery store didn’t have any. they also didn’t have any mead which mike actually requested. one of the first times we talked to each other, i was drinking mead (don’t ask- there were renaissance festival people involved) and he asked me what kind. i shrugged and said “honey?”. later, he enlightened me to the fact that all mead is made from honey. what did i know- i wasn’t the pretend midevil sword fighter.
the only time i drink anheuser busch beers is at hockey games, baseball games and during mardi gras if the keg is on the float. oh, and at the AB brewery tour or AB owned Grant’s Farm because they give you free beer.
Ugggggghhh. Everclear is horrible shit. In college, these guys down the dorm hall decided to have a beach party in their room. They covered their tile floor with sand, blasted the Beach Boys and mixed up some Everclear punch in a plastic tub. Later, I threw up the nasty red punch and thought it was blood. Oh what a night (Anna, Dawn? Here, I’ll do it for you- Walk of Shane, Blah Blah Blah). Also, Hurricanes down in the tourist trap bars in New Orleans? Everclear and 151- no wonder we puked in front of laughing locals and appalled tourists. Also, I liked to drink Purple Passion when I was young and stupid which was like grape koolaid mixed with Everclear. Purple Passion = Purple Puke.
So what won’t you drink and why?
