We’ve been icked. Jack started first with a fever on Tuesday and has been downright pathetic ever since. I took him into the new pediatrician* yesterday while he moaned, “I wanna go home” the entire time. He was so miserable, he wouldn’t walk but managed to summon the super human strength needed to fight off the evil otoscope. I have perfected my little kid ear check hold so the doctor was able to ascertain his ear tubes were okay, his tonsils enormous as usual, his throat raw and his nose stuffed. She swabbed his throat and the back of his nose with long q-tips which is just what a sick kid wants. I peeled him off the ceiling in time to find out his screenings were negative for flu and strep.

The doctor told me, “Well, he looks like C-R-A-P (She spelled out crap which I found amusing. If E was with me, he probably would have memorized it and walked around singing “C-R-A-P”) and has all the symptoms of the flu.” She said the screening is only 70% accurate and she was fairly sure he had H1N1 since A) He was exposed and B) symptoms and misery not explained by anything else.

What about the immunizations you ask? The triplets were not immunized against H1N1 flu because their pediatrician’s office only got the flu mist which is a live, weakened version of the virus and isn’t supposed to be given to kids with respiratory problems like Lily. We could have taken a chance and given it to the boys but we didn’t like exposing Lily by giving them the weakened virus. We consulted with three different doctors, including the pediatric pulmonologist, about the live vaccine and got three different opinions ranging from “Do NOT give anyone in the house the live virus vaccine.” to “Give it to the boys, the chances of transmitting it from Flu-mist are low.”. We debated and cancelled the appointment for the mist and decided to wait for the shot (dead virus). Our pediatrician’s office still does not have the shot. Other doctor offices in the area are giving it out to “normal” kids and our high risk child still cannot get it. We are at the largest pediatrician’s office in our county- one that is afilliated with the large hospital where the triplets were born- and they still don’t have it. One pediatrician I spoke to at another hospital scoffed when I told him our pediatrician’s office only has the Flu-Mist. He is the same one who said absolutely do not give them the live virus and he said, “I thought only the schools were getting the mist. We only have the shot.”. So, what happened? Who can I blame? Which administrative snafu resulted in our pediatrician’s office lacking in a vaccine other Dr’s have available? Can I find the weak link and make him or her babysit three 4 year olds with the flu?
While I construct an effigy of a bumbling office worker who messed up the vaccine delivery, I have to hold the kids and give them Tamiflu, etc. Lily needs extra oxygen, nebulizer treatments and constant vigilence (She wound up in ICU two years ago with flu. I don’t like her having the flu with her scarred, fragile, prone to pneumonia lungs.). Jack is still miserable and doesn’t want Ethan to look at him, pretend to touch him or talk. Jack is a little irritable. Ethan is still fairly healthy but has started running a temperature nd is crying that Lily isn’t being responsible for some reason (Preschool focuses on being responsible. I don’t think they know what it actually means but they sure like to say it.). Right now, I’m sitting on the couch while each of the triplets are touching one of my limbs but not each other and the dog is laying on my feet while I peck this missive on my Blackberry listening to Sesame Street** I hope they actually have the flu so the Tamiflu kicks in and makes them feel better. Until then, wish me luck.

*This was our first time meeting the new pediatrician since out beloved Dr defected to another practice. I wanted to cry when I saw his art was gone from the walls. The new Dr is nice, spells out C-R-A-P and seems thorough but I still miss our old pediatrician. I may start stalking him. Do you think he would look at my kids if I followed him around the grocery store with a stethosocope?

** I prefer PBS to every other kid station because NO COMMERCIALS to send the kids into greedy fits of toy lust and because the shows are just better. For example, the Sesame Street we’re currently watching has a segment called “Bring Out Your K” which is a play on Monty Python’s “Bring Out Your Dead” and dammit, that’s funny to me. Because I’m also a geek. So yeah, Sesame Street RULEZ!

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